Note: The following post may not contain the most "politically correct" terms/words/phrases. Do not read if you become easily offended by words. I do not mean to be rude/ignorant/etc. I am just being straight forward so it is easiest to understand.
I have always wanted a non-white child. I always thought I would have a white child (through donor) but then adopt a black or black/white mixed child. I talked about it a lot with my black room mate as her nephew is bi-racial (black/white) and his mother struggles with some things such as skin care. I made mental notes of the special considerations I would need to keep in mind. I talked with parents who adopted black children, both internationally and domestically.
Then I found Korea. I truly believe I was Korean in another life. I love the language, the culture, the people, everything. I then decided I would have a Korean child (through donor) and then adopt a black/mixed child.
This past spring I realized that with having a Korean child (and raising them with Korean customs, culture, language etc.) it would make it hard for the adopted child. It is also much easier to adopt a black/mixed child if you have one already. That is when I decided I would use a black donor. My try was unsuccessful.
Soon after I knew my try was unsuccessful I realized I can't have a black/black white mix child. I will probably only have one child and I am too in love with Korean culture to give it up. I need to have a Korean child. I have chosen a Korean name, my child will grow up with Korean and English, they will celebrate 100th day (Baek-Il) and first birthday celebration (Dol/Doljanchi). Every May 5th we will celebrate Children's Day and hopefully Pepero Day on November 11th.. My child will grow up knowing their Korean culture, something I cannot give to a black child.
Although my family was supportive of me having a black/mixed child, Korean culture is such a large part of my life. My brother also loves the culture and my family all know some Korean words. I feel that they (and I) are much more knowledgeable about Korean culture than black.
One day I hope to bring my child to Korea so they can see where their culture came from. I hope to show him/her places I've been in Korea and I hope they will fall in love with Korea as much as I have.
As you have or will notice, I will be focusing a lot on Korean culture. I hope it can be a reference for me in the future. I cannot express in words how right it feels, how perfect it feels. This is the child I am meant to have. I hope to one day (soon) have my little Korean star growing inside myself or my surrogate.
I am 30, single, vegan, and been on my journey to becoming a single mother since 2013. I have struggled with infertility and I am now on the path to international adoption of a little girl with Down syndrome. Come join me on my journey to becoming a mother!