I'm no closer to becoming a mother than I was three years ago. I have more debt, bitter, and doubtful, but other than that not much has changed. I still want to be a mother, my heart still aches to be one. I often wish I didn't have this dream in my heart because it would be so much easier (and cheaper!) to just be happy living child-free. But that's not me. I've wanted to be a mother my entire life so I will fight to become one.
All this brings me to international adoption. Since meeting with the agency last year I kept coming back to thinking about it. The fairly low costs, the short timeline (once I get to a point where I'm ready), and being able to get my life into order before moving ahead. My heart has never been set on pregnancy, I only tried because it was suppose to be cheaper. My heart has always been with adoption. I do not mourn the loss of my ability to physically have a child because I have gained the amazing feeling I get every time I see a newly adopted child placed in their parent's arms. yes, birth can be magical. It is sweet to see a new baby placed on it's mother's chest, but it's not the same deep happiness that comes from an adoption placement. I am looking forward to that moment a million times more than I ever did when it came to ultrasounds or birth.
It will take me a while to get to the point where I can start the adoption process. It will take time but it will be worth it. I'll be able to get into a career that allows me to live closer to my family (and the resources my child will need), buy a house instead of renting an expensive apartment, and set myself up to better support my child. Below is my video about my plans. I hope you will join me on this long but worthwhile journey to my child :)
I am 30, single, vegan, and been on my journey to becoming a single mother since 2013. I have struggled with infertility and I am now on the path to international adoption of a little girl with Down syndrome. Come join me on my journey to becoming a mother!
Submitting to India