I'm spotting and most likely "out" for this cycle. I know timing wasn't the best this cycle because I ovulated on a Sunday. This meant that the sperm was "old" by the time I inseminated. The cycle I got pregnant I had "new" sperm two days before and one day before ovulation and the day after. This time I had "new" sperm four and three days before ovulation and two days after. Too much time before ovulation and after. The third shipment when missing and didn't arrive until a WEEK after it should have, therefore much too late. Next cycle I will be ovulating on a weekday or worse case on a Saturday so it should be much better.
That being said I am still wondering "how much longer?" How much longer before I get pregnant again? How much longer until I have a VIABLE pregnancy? How much longer until I have a baby in my arms? How much longer can I physically deal with these failed cycles? How much longer can I emotionally deal with these negative cycles? How much longer before I just go crazy? How much longer until I am no longer heart broken at each negative?
My current plan right now is to keep on going until I just can't. I'm planning IVF for summer 2015 (summer 2014 will not work due to time constrains as well as finances) but in the meantime I'm just going to keep going. I want a break from the roller coaster but I feel like if I get off I will regret it the whole time. I will just wish that I was on it, just to have those two weeks of hopefulness. The two week wait isn't the hard part for me; it's the time from when I know I'm out to when I do my next insemination. Taking a break would mean that I have that horrible time be extended. So all I can do right now is what I'm doing. Until I can afford IVF or another option this is all I can do.
I am 29, single, vegan, on my journey to becoming a single mother. I have struggled with infertility and I am now on the path to international adoption. Come join me on my journey to becoming a mother!
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