This year I decided to take advantage of the Black Friday sales. Grovia has a "Buy 2 Get 1 Free" promotion but because it's only the new prints I can't finish my stash. I thought of just buying the three new prints I like but because I would have to pay for shipping (my order wouldn't be high enough to get free shipping) I would only be saving $10. Since shipping is $10 and I would be saving that by waiting to order it ends up the same whether or not I wait to shop. So in the end I decided to just wait for my shells.
I did however, make a purchase. My Ju-Ju-Be diaper bag was on sale for $40 off! Bonus was that the print I LOVE was available. Then I decided to look at the two accessories I wanted and not only were they also on sale (only a few dollars each though :P) but they were available in the print I LOVE!!!!! YAY!!!!! So with the bag and two accessories it was still cheaper than the bag's original price :D. Here's what I bought (the print is Stargyle):
I've never seen the Be Quick in Stargyle before so I was super excited that it was available. They also had the Be Neat bib but I didn't really care for the look of it and I figured that I will end up needing a lot more bibs than just one. I also want to hold off on more baby specific purchases until I know I'm pregnant. With the Ju-Ju-Be stuff I know that I can use it no matter what. So this leads into my next thoughts on waiting....
WAITING SUCKS!!!! I wish there was a magically way to know if I am pregnant or not. The unknown is hard. This cycle is the first time I have started feeling like I might not ever get pregnant. I know I haven't been trying that long and that normal couples can take a while but it's still hard to be waiting to find out if it worked or not. If it didn't there is more planning, more timing, and then more waiting. It just sucks. And then back to what if it never happens. Sure there is surrogacy or adoption but both of those take such a huge financial and emotional toll that I don't want to pay. I'd much rather be able to just get pregnant. I am a planner, and once I set my mind on something I make it happen. This is the first time in my life that I feel like I don't have control on whether or not something happens. Sure I am obviously trying to get pregnant but I can't make it happen. I can't guarantee that it will happen. I can't influence it or help it along any more than I already am. I hate waiting. How do I plan when I don't know when (or if) it will happen. It could be this month, it could be five months. Worse yet what if I get pregnant and then miscarry?!?!? Then it's like starting all over again. Will I be able to? This journey is proving to be the hardest thing, emotionally, that I've ever done in my life. I know once I am pregnant it will all be worth it but how long will it take to happen?
I am 30, single, vegan, and been on my journey to becoming a single mother since 2013. I have struggled with infertility and I am now on the path to international adoption of a little girl with Down syndrome. Come join me on my journey to becoming a mother!
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